Total Drama: Legends vs Losers
by scubadivingmaui7
Summary: It's the 10th anniversary of Total Drama! To celebrate, Chris Maclean has invited (forced) 26 contestants to have another go-round for the prize. TD's strongest, most famed, and best-placing competitors return to go head to head with the most inexperienced, underused, and suckish competitors in the show's history. It's All-Stars vs. Underdogs in the (possibly) greatest season ever!
1. Chapter 1

**Total Drama: Legends vs. Losers**

 **Episode 1, Part 1**

 **The Revenge of the Revenge of the Island**

* * *

 **Author's Note**

Welcome to Legends vs. Losers, and thank you for taking the time to boredly peruse my fanfic! I've essentially made this story as a response to Total Dramarama. I've seen a couple episodes and, while I don't think it's terrible, I think I speak for pretty much every Total Drama fan when I say that I would have much preferred an actual competition season. This was a doubly-disappointing whammy due to the fact that Total Drama recently passed its 10th anniversary (well, 11th - but TDI aired a year later in my country, so it's close enough!) and we were getting an unrequested spin-off instead of a proper season. So, I decided to craft what I hoped would feel like a proper 10th anniversary season. I hope you enjoy the first chapter of LvL, and if you like it (or even hate it), please consider leaving a review so I can be constantly improving my writing.

Without further ado, here is Total Drama, Legends vs. Losers!

* * *

Fading in from black, the season opened on a shot of Camp Wawanakwa, the famed site of _Total Drama Island_. It was a serene scene, as birds chirped and the ocean surrounding it sparkled in the sunlight.

"Welcome back," rang a familiar voice, as triumphant music started up, "to Wawanakwa Island - the place where it all began!"

The camera zoomed in to the island's main docks, where a well-groomed man with a blue button-up shirt and thickly-gelled hair smiled at the camera. "It's been a long time since Total Drama aired any new episodes," he stated conversationally, walking down the dock. "Even longer since the first season that started it all - over ten years, in fact! But don't fret, dear audience." The man grinned, wide and gleaming. "I, Chris Maclean, Canada and North Korea's perpetually favorite host, have returned to bring you what your crave - new episodes of Total Drama! That's right - I had to lay low for a few years after getting tangled up in some irritating legal issues - you know, illegal dumping of radioactive waste, continuous endangerment of minors, general crimes against humanity, etcetera, etcetera - but now I'm back due to our producers' prolific and morally ambiguous legal team, and I'm just as eager as you are to see some poor saps battle it out for the big bucks!"

The camera zoomed in to Chris' face. "You may be wondering why I'm standing on this island, due to it sinking in the fifth season. Well don't worry, dear viewers, there is a perfectly good explanation for this." He gave a wide, fake grin. "You see, _that_ island was a stunt double."

The screen flashed white for a split second, and Chris was seen walking across the campground, the mess hall and a cabin behind him. "While time has passed, the rules of the game will remain similar. We'll bring back a gaggle of classic competitors - who aren't yet aware I hid a clause in their original contracts that they'd have to come back for another season, heh heh - who will compete against each other in humiliating challenges -" The scene flashed to Chris standing inside a ramshackle cabin - "sleep in nasty old cabins -" he reappeared at a series of familiar stumps - "ruthlessly vote off their teammates -" one more flash revealed him squatting inside a graffiti-covered outhouse - "and confess their deepest darkest secrets in our classic confessional." He lifted his shirt over his mouth and grimaced. "Which also doesn't _smell_ like it's been _cleaned_ in the last ten years, either!"

One more flash brought him back to his starting location on the docks. "But as this _is_ the tenth anniversary season, we'll be doing something special for it," he smiled. "So sit back, relax, and make sure you have plenty of adult diapers on standby, because you won't want to miss a single moment of Total… Drama…

"Legends Versus Losers!"

* * *

 _(Cut to theme song)_

* * *

After the theme song's closing riffs, the camera cut back to Chris, still standing with his hands behind his back on the docks. " _Man._ Having the full minute-long version of the theme song back is satisfying, isn't it?" The host clapped his hands. "But enough with the reminiscing. Let me give you the lowdown. This season, to signify all the great and noble contestants from Total Drama's past, we've forced - er, _invited_ \- the roughest, toughest, most high-scoring and well-performing players in Total Drama history to come back and duke it out once more for the gold! Oh, but this isn't just another All-Stars season." Chris wagged his finger playfully at the camera, but then frowned. "Seriously. We got so many fan complaints from the last time we did that, the producers almost shut us down." His grin spontaneously reappeared. "No, in order to counteract all our finale-making power players, we've also invited the suckiest, the lamest, the most awful players and performers that this host has ever seen. And we're gonna pit them against each other in a showdown of total legends versus total _losers_." He gave a sly aside to the camera. "Bet you can guess who's gonna win each week." He straightened, eyeing a small yacht approaching from the horizon. "But enough formalities. Let's get to introducing our cast. First and foremost, one of our most overexposed, er, _classic_ contesants, and original winner of Total Drama Island - Owen!"

The yacht sped away, leaving behind a sandy-haired man with a shirt bearing a maple leaf and a girth to make sumo wrestlers envious. "Chris! What's happenin'?" the boy cried, hands on his head. "It's awesome to be back!"

"Awesome to have you back, Owen!" Chris raised his hand for a high-five, but instead the original winner yanked him into a rib-cracking embrace.

"Oh, I missed you so much!" Owen buried his face into Chris' chest, nuzzling him lovingly. "I just know this is going to be the greatest season of them all!"

"Owen - lungs - collapsing," Chris choked out, having trouble uttering a single, uh, utterance.

"Oh! Sorry." Owen set Chris on his feet, and gingerly dusted off his chest, grinning sheepishly. Chris glowered, and jabbed his thumb behind him, directing Owen to the far end of the dock. The large man grabbed his luggage and hastily complied.

Chris overcome his glare when he spotted another boat arriving. "And here's our second contestant," he said, "who's had to live with the knowledge of placing second best for a decade - everyone's favorite goth, Gwen!"

The camera panned over to the fan favorite, who had seen some changes in the past several years. The woman still rocked the goth style, but a little more casually than her teenage self - she donned black jeans with a heavy metallic belt, and a tight black long-sleeved shirt, whose sleeves were a blue-green color to match the dyed strips in her hair. Said hair was much longer, now reaching past her shoulders, and - surprisingly - only had a few blue-green dyed strips, the rest revealing that her natural hair color was a deep reddish-brown. Predictably, she regarded Chris with a deep scowl.

"Gwen," said the host again, sending her a double dose of finger pistols. "Good to have you back."

Gwen wheeled her luggage over to him, looking unimpressed. "I can't believe you were able to use a contract from ten years ago to dupe me into coming back here. I hope you know I had to miss a book tour for this."

"Ah, yes," said Chris, turning back to the camera. "Since her time on the show, our little Gwen has discovered her true love - writing! This past year, she published her first horror novel, to critical acclaim from both reviewers and fans." As he spoke, multiple pictures were superimposed upon the screen - Gwen determinedly scribbling on a sheet of paper by candlelight, posing proudly while holding a thick book titled "The Croak of the Raven," and autographing a copy for a fan in a bookstore, as many more readers awaited their turn.

"I'm not sure how those contracts were even legally binding," said Gwen, crossing her arms as the shot returned to the docks. "You had us sign them when we were minors."

"Hey, think of it as good publicity," said Chris. "You originally got famous from this show, which no doubt helped your book sales. So returning to the game that started it all should please your fans even more!" Gwen just rolled her eyes, and rolled her luggage to the far end of the dock.

"Gwen!" Owen cried, barely containing his excitement. "It's been so long!" He opened his arms for a hug, but froze mid-grab as Gwen held out a hand in front of him.

"Uh-uh. _Gently._ " Looking sheepish, Owen moved in for a gentle hug. Gwen gave another eye roll, but more out of amusement this time, and allowed a small smile as she hugged the big lug.

"And here's one of our most controversial contestants," said Chris as another boat drove past, "a season two finalist and fresh from the big house, Duncan!"

Everyone's favorite and/or least favorite punk smirked, looking largely the same with a green mohawk, spiked collar, and skull-and-crossbones T-shirt.

"Since last starring on Total Drama All-Stars, Duncan has largely been bouncing in and out of various jails, usually winding right back where he started after release due to some petty crime," Chris informed the camera as Duncan approached. "Dude," he said to delinquent-turned-proper-criminal, "what are your thoughts on being back?"

Duncan shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, you guys paid my bail, so I guess I owe it to you to at least show up. At least _here_ I have a chance at getting rich enough to pay my _own_ bail."

"Well said," nodded Chris, and Duncan walked to the two other contestants. He opened his mouth to speak, but Owen gasped in joy and gave him a bone-crunching hug.

"Duncan! Oh, how I've missed you and the apathetic charisma you so effortlessly exude!"

He placed the criminal back on the dock, who coughed and cracked his back with displeasure. "Yeah, whatever, man." The punk then turned to Gwen, and grinned slyly. "Ah, and Gwen. I'm loving the new look."

Gwen simply scoffed and looked away.

"And let's not forget TDA's other finalist," said Chris as another boat sped past, "B - Beth?!"

Despite wearing a similar style, the woman in front of him bore almost no resemblance to the geeky girl of Total Drama past. Fit, attractive, and confident-looking, the glasses-wearing woman waved cheerfully, her brown hair now tied into a proper ponytail. The other three contestants gasped at her radical change. "Hi-i!" she called. "So nice to see all of you again!"

Chris blinked, and rubbed his eyes. "Beth? Is that _actually_ you?"

Beth giggled as she walked over to him. "Well of course! Who else do you think it could be?" Even her voice sounded different, though she still spoke in the same lilting, sing-songy cadence.

"It's just that you look, so… different!"

Beth chuckled again. "Well what do you expect? It's been ten years!"

A pair of small moles below her left cheek confirmed her true identity to Chris, and the host relaxed. "Well, all right then!" he announced, happy once more though still sounding a tad uncertain. "It looks like our resident geeky girl has really grown into herself!"

A series of pictures were once again superimposed on the screen, showing the new-and-improved Beth happily filling a food trough for a pig, and hugging the snout of a horse. "After growing up on a farm," said Chris' disembodied voice, "Beth discovered the horrors of factory farming, and used her post-TDA fame to start up an animal sanctuary for rescued creatures."

"Oh yeah," said Beth, pumping a fist as the shot cut back to the dock. "And I'm gonna use this million bucks to _greatly_ expand my sanctuary!"

"Hey, well, all right then!" Chris fist-bumped her as she headed to meet the others. Gwen and Owen gave her gentle hugs, and even Duncan gave a smirk and a fist bump to his old friend.

"Looking great, Beth!" smiled Gwen.

"Thanks. Oh, and congratulations on the novel! I read it and it was _amazing!_ "

The camera panned back to Chris. "Moving on to World Tour, let's introduce our next pair of finalists -" he gestured to the approaching boat - "the dreaded _Heather_ and _Alejandro!_ "

Ominous choral music played as the shot showed the two arch-villains approaching on a single boat, both looking mostly the same, with Heather wearing her hair free as she had on TDI. The two dropped onto the dock, not saying a word, simply throwing suspicious glances at the camp, the host, the other contestants, and finally each other, before heading forward.

"Ah yes, our famous on-again off-again couple," Chris informed the camera, as the two approached. "Since his time on the show, Alejandro has hit it big-time in a professional modeling gig. Heather has also retained her fame - but, as she's mostly famous for being wicked and conniving, she's been unable to find a job _anywhere!_ " Chris held his stomach as he gave a big belly-laugh, and the Japanese woman's eyes shot daggers. "Despite having broken up no less than _thirty-four_ times in the past year alone, Heather keeps having to crawl back to Alejandro because she keeps ending up with _no place to live_ \- thus perpetuating the cycle of their constant break-ups, and getting-back-together's!"

"Are you finished?" Alejandro asked.

"Yeah, fine, fine, whatever." Chris waved boredly to the far side of the dock, and the villainous duo walked past him. "Guess being in a relationship where both people are evil and self-centered doesn't work out well. Woulda thought?" he snarked at the camera.

"Probably why you can never get a date," Heather muttered.

"Hey!" Chris shot back.

The two villains stopped a few feet from the other contestants and refused to look at them, ignoring the glares Gwen, Beth, and Duncan were sending their way.

"And we can't forget the _third_ finale-maker of season three," said Chris, "let's give a warm welcome to Cody!"

The camera focused on the man who had most recently leapt onto the dock. While sporting a similar hairstyle to his TDI self, the tech enthusiast now bore more of a hipster aesthetic - dyed black hair, a soul patch, and a pair of earrings now adorned his face, and he wore a nice button-up striped shirt with a pair of indigo jeans. Despite this, he moved down the dock with the same confident strut he had bore on his very first day of the show. "Chris! What's happening?" he asked, slyly pointing at the host. "Excellent to be back."

"And excellent to have you!" The host responded. "How's life been treating you?"

"Oh excellent, most excellent," Cody replied. He fished a photo out of his pocket and eyed it wistfully. "The electronics repair shop Sierra and I opened up has been running smoothly. I get to work with computers as much as I want," he said proudly, "while Sierra keeps the fans happy by blogging about our daily lives, the other contestants, and any other Total Drama gossip." The camera shifted to reveal the photo, a snapshot of Cody and Sierra standing at a counter while various electronic parts hung from the wall behind them: Cody had a screwdriver jammed into what looked like a digital alarm clock, while Sierra joyfully hammered away at her laptop keyboard, her tongue stuck out in determined concentration.

Chris smiled impishly. "So Sierra still giving you trouble, huh? Have you just given up at this point?"

Cody smiled good-naturedly as he shook his head. "Nope! She's actually learned to become a lot more respectful, and so we decided to give it a shot. She's actually an awesome girlfriend once she's learned to respect boundaries, and I haven't regretted it since!" He turned to the camera. "Hi, Sierra! Sorry you can't be here, but I miss ya, babe!"

"All right, all right! Enough mush!" Chris tried to shove Cody out of the frame. Unperturbed, Cody resumed his strut, pointing and winking at the others. "Hey, Heather! Lookin' fine. Owen, my man! Glad to see you again. Duncan," he added stonily, and then said, "B-Beth?"

The farm girl giggled. "Surprised?" They hugged, and then Cody turned to the next contestant, his confident facade immediately slipping. "Oh! Gwen," he said, looking at the ground awkwardly.

"Cody! Hi," Gwen said, with a pained smile, before her eyes also fell to the ground.

"Uh… n-nice to see you again," Cody stated.

Gwen scratched her arm, and then tried to smile again. "Y-yeah. You too." After a second, the two managed a light hug, and then resumed their awkward stances as they tried to look everywhere but at each other.

"And that's a wrap on the original contestants," said Chris. "We now move onto gen two, starting with season four finalist - Lightning!"

The muscular athlete leapt off of his boat, looking unimpressed by his surroundings. The overachiever looked mostly the same as he had in seasons past, though his hair (either by dye or growing out naturally) was once again dark, and his blue jersey had been traded for one that was bright orange - though still had a deep indigo "1" on the front. "Yo, Chris," snapped the athlete, "Why'd we have to come back to this dump of a campground? Lightning is a star athlete, and he deserves star treatment!"

"Ah, yes." Chris smirked. "Sports fans in the audience should be well aware that TD's resident athlete was the star of his college football team, and, in a shocking move, has just recently been accepted onto a professional team! And I see you're already wearing your colors proudly," he added, pulling at the orange jersey.

Lightning swatted Chris' hand away. "Yeah, and Lightning should be sha-practicin' for the upcoming season, not stayin' here with all of these losers!" He gestured to the other contestants, who frowned in synchronicity.

"Hey, think of it this way," said Chris. "You win, and you can _buy_ the entire team." Lightning's eyes widened, and the host added, "Besides, you've always referred to yourself as a winner, yet you've _never_ won a season of Total Drama. Don't you want to prove that you can win _anything_ , and that you're not a 'sha-loser'?"

"Lightning never loses!" The athlete stomped to the far end of the dock and crossed his arms. "And he's gonna prove it to you!" After a moment, he whirled around and stuck his finger in Owen's face, apropros to nothing, and added, "And especially you!" The gesture made the larger man fall into the water in surprise.

"And our winner of Season Four, not to mention the finalists of Season Five," Chris said as the sound of another boat was heard, "the much-maligned friendshop trio, Cameron, Zoey, and Mike!"

The latter two walked forward while holding hands, the scrawny black boy smiling behind them. "Ah, yes," said Chris, "my favorite contestants. Blandy, Blandier, and Blandy-McBlanderson."

The trio narrowed their eyes. "And what's that supposed to mean?" Zoey asked indignantly.

"Well, we got a lot of complaints from viewers that you guys are just too boring to want to watch. Especially after getting so far in the game for _two seasons_ in a row, people just got kind of sick of you."

"Hey! We aren't boring!" cried Mike.

"Yeah!" Cameron agreed. "We do lots of cool things."

Chris smiled slyly. "Oh yeah? Then tell me, what exciting stuff have you guys been up to since the show ended?"

Mike and Zoey repeatedly opened their mouths as if they meant to speak, but kept drawing blanks. "Um… Mm… Uh…"

"…Well, I got a job at a library!" Cameron piped up.

"Like I said," Chris smirked. The three shrugged, and walked over to the other contestants. "And, the finalist to our recent season, let's hear it for Sky!"

The dark-haired gymnast got off of the boat, and began walking down the dock with a neutraul expression on her face. The light-skinned woman looked mostly the same, down to her cream-colored top and feathered earrings, though had grown her hair out much longer, which was currently tied into a poofy ponytail.

As Chris spoke, film clips of Sky's various accomplishments played on the screen: her deflty balancing on a balance beam, crossing a gorge on a narrow plank while holding an eagle's egg and wearing a chicken hat, and standing proudly on a pedestal labeled "1" while donning ice skates and holding a trophy over her head. "Our once aspiring Olympian, Sky has since become an _actual_ Olympian - winning gold in gymnastics, the not-so-rejected-anymore drama run, and even figure skating!"

"WHAT?" an angry voice in the last clip cried, causing Sky and the camera to pan over to her competition. "Silver AGAIN?" A woman in a leotard with jet black hair picked up the nearby judges' table, her face contorted with rage.

"Josee, no!" her male partner cried, but the woman threw the table at the camera, which cut to static before being replaced with a current shot of Chris and Sky on the docks.

"Heck, I'd say Sky is the only contestant who earned more fame from _outside_ the show than in it!" Chris said, as Sky approached. "Sky! How does it feel to be back - and almost as famous as me! Almost," he emphasized with a finger wag.

The woman shrugged good-naturedly. "What can I say? I'm glad to be back. I almost won the million last time, so I bet I have a pretty good shot. And my fans will love it. I just have to remember my mantra: no distractions!" She pounded her fist in her palm with a determined grin.

"Really?" said Chris, eyebrows raised. Sky nodded confidently, and he shrugged. "Whatever, dude. Try as I might, I can't _make_ you hate coming back here." As Sky walked past him, he shielded his eyes with his hands as he looked to the horizon and called, "And rounding out the winner's team, here's everyone's favorite conspiracy-theorizing, zombie-fearing survivalist, and the winner of last season… Shawn!"

The scruffy boy leapt off his boat, looking exactly the same as he had in _Pahkitew_ , before the shot cut once again to photos superimposed on the screen.

"After winning the million," said Chris, "Shawn and his girlfriend Jasmine opened up a flowershop slash cage fightning school in Perth." The first photo showed the couple lovingly tending to flowers, the second them hollering from the sidelines as two young kids beat the stuffing out of each other. "They've also used their fame to start a wilderness survival show, where they show off all their myriad survival skills to their viewing audience." The next two showed Jasmine hanging nervously from a cliff, and Shawn screaming and waving an arm that a purple viper had sunk its fangs into. The scene flashed back to the dock. "So Shawn. Glad to be back?"

"Oh, yeah, very." The survivalist nodded. "My survival skills came in super handy in my last season, and that was on an island that was artificial. So if I performed that well when everything was fake, just think how well off I'll be in the _actual_ wilderness!"

"Good point," Chris said. "But I hope you've prepared yourself for Wawanakwa's resident… zombie population!" He yanked a decaying, grey mask of a zombie out from his back and shoved it into Shawn's face, cackling theatrically. Shawn simply flinched, and then gave Chris an unimpressed look. "Seriously?" asked the host.

"Yeah, I've kind of gotten over my whole zombie thing, with Jasmine's help." The survivalist scratched the back of his neck. "I got caught in a whole zombie phase when I was a teenager, but I've mostly grown past that. I'm still a huge fan of horror movies, though!"

"Oh-kay…" Chris said uncertainly, as Shawn walked past. He and Sky high-fived in greeting.

"Contestants!" Chris announced, staring at the thirteen gathered on the dock. "You are all Total Drama's best of the best. Whether it be your brains -" the camera lingered over Cameron - "your skills -" it shifted to Shawn - "your cunning -" Alejandro and Heather were next - "or… whatever Owen has," the host finished as the shot lingered on the big guy, "You've outperformed and outclassed all forty-something other competitors the show has seen. And this season, you'll be working together. I hereby dub your team… The Wawanakwan Winners!"

A small ding played as the blue emblem of a trophy with the number "1" engraved appeared in the upper corner of the screen.

"And your competish?" Chris turned back to the empty side of the dock, and the sound of another approaching boat. "Why only the most pathetic, poorly-playing, utter _losers_ possible - starting with…" his face fell into a frown, and he finished unenthusiastically, "Ezekiel."

The hoodie-wearing young man wore dark jeans and a blue toque over a mop of scruffy hair. He also had green skin, a nibble taken out of his ear, and a muzzle strapped to his face. The farmhand waved cheerfully as he approached.

"So. Ezekiel," said Chris, his cheery demeanor returning. "How have things been for you since you were last seen on the show?"

"Oh, great, eh!" The boy replied. "I know I may not look too good, but I'm way better than I used to be, eh! The obedience classes have been working like a charm!"

The other contestants were looking quite perplexed. Shawn's eyes widened considerably.

"Right. And, uh, are you sure that your being here won't pose a threat to our lives?" Chris asked.

"No worries, eh! The only remnants of the old me is that sometimes I'll have little outbursts -" He suddenly let out an inhuman snarl, and then looked down in shame. "Um, like that, eh."

"Well I'm cool with it." Chris gestured to his right, and the prairie boy walked to stand by the other contestants, giving a hopeful wave. Some of the friendlier contestants, such as Beth, Owen, and Zoey waved back. When Ezekiel looked forward again, Shawn eyed him suspiciously and took a step away.

"Owen and Gwen were the top two placers of TDI," Chris continued, "while their bottom two counterparts were Ezekiel, and…" He dramatically gestured to the approaching boat. "Eva!"

The ominous choral music started up again as Eva arrived. The weightlifter leapt to the dock, her duffel bag clinking with what could only be dumbbells. She looked largely the same, though had a large, black dragon tattoo on her left arm, the tail of which curled around her bicep, disappeared under her top, and re-emerged with a snarling head at her shoulder. Scowling (unsurprisingly), she walked toward the others.

"Eva!" Chris repeated. "After her embarrassing performances on Total Drama, Eva has started somewhat of a name for herself in the fitness industry. She's had a fairly sucessful career as a personal trainer, and unless I'm mistaken, has plans to open her own gym in the future, correct?" He turned to the weightlifter, but she ignored his questions as she jammed her face into his.

"Just what do you think you're pulling," she snarled, rage obviously broiling just beneath the surface, "forcing us to come back here? The show was ten years ago! And I was barely on it! Just as I had finally put it behind me." This last growl was tinged with the slightest hint of remorse.

Chris pulled on his shirt collar and sweated nervously. "H-hey, what can I say? That's how contracts work, right?" He whimpered as Eva grabbed his shirt and yanked their faces even closer. She forced him to stare into her eyes, which seemed to be tinged red, until the host shut his own and took a deep gulp.

The wordless threat sufficiently delivered, the weightlifter released him and marched over to the others. She was greeted by a few snickers and thumbs-up, and even a "Nice job, dude," courtesy of Duncan, all of which she ignored.

"Sheesh," said Chris, straightening his clothing. "And moving on to the losers of our second season - Geoff and Bridgette!"

The camera cut to the approaching boat, where the surfer couple stood with their arms around each other, beaming. Bridgette looked the same as she had on Total Drama, and while Geoff was the same physically, he had changed his outfit to now better match his lover's, with a baby blue open shirt and blue-and-white striped shorts. Surprisingly, the blonde man was also missing his trademark hat, though he still donned his necklace and bracelet.

A montage of Geoff and Bridgette being voted out on TDA, hosting various Aftermath shows, and the former winning _The Ridonculous Race_ with Brody were played over Chris' narration. "Despite being beloved by fans, hosting the Total Drama Aftermaths, and recently winning it big on our sister show, Geoff and Bridgette are still being placed among the losers for their early vote-out in Season Two."

The film changed to brand new clips, showing a now blue-shirted Geoff laughing as he was swarmed by happy-looking kids in what appeared to be a classroom environment. "The two used Geoff's _Ridonculous_ winnings to open up a surf school." The scene again shifted to show clips of Bridgette riding a massive wave, and then posing proudly for cameras while donning various medals around her neck. "Meanwhile, Bridgette has gone on to win several surf championships around the world, and her reputation as one of the greatest surfers of her generation is growing."

The scene flashed back to the docks, as Chris widened his eyes and shook his head. "Wait! No no no no -"

He was cut off as Geoff raced over and swept him into a hug rivaling that of Owen's. "Dude! It's so awesome to see you again, man!"

Bridgette walked over and crossed her arms, smiling lightly. "Well, I don't know if I'd call it awesome, but even I have to admit it's bit nostalgic to be back at the place we first met."

Geoff dropped Chris, who gasped for air, and slapped a hand to his forehead. "Dude! How could I forget? This is, like, totally the perfect spot for our tenth anniversary!" He suddenly swept up his girlfriend in a loving kiss, who squeaked in surprise at first, but then melted into it. He then gently set her down, yelled "Ah! And it's so great to see all you dudes again!" and rushed to the far end of the dock, leaving a dreamy-looking Bridgette next to a hacking and coughing Chris. The surfer guy began hugging all the other contestants, including a protesting Heather and a surprised-looking Alejandro.

"See, this is why we didn't star him too much in latter seasons," Chris complained. "He brings too much positivity to this show. I wanna see people suffering, not enjoying themselves!"

Bridgette shrugged, smiling lightly. "And that's why you'll never quite be as popular as Geoff," she said as she walked past him.

"Hey! I'm totally popular!" the host whined.

Bridgette joined the others, greeting and hugging her old friends like Gwen and Beth. Owen and Geoff were both attempting to give each other the strongest embrace possible, and Bridgette clapped her hands in front of them, noticing they were turning blue. "All right, boys, that's enough."

The two men released each other and fell to the wood. "Wow, dude," Owen wheezed, "your hugs have gotten nearly as good as mine since the last time we saw each other."

"Thanks, man," Geoff managed. "It's an honor hearing that from you."

The shot shifted back to Chris. "The players first booted out from Season Three were Ezekiel and Duncan, who are both already here. So, moving on to Season Four, we're bringing back a contestant so obscure that I actually had to double-check her name before she arrived. Please welcome - Lacy! Er…" Chris quickly checked a note written on the back of his hand. "Staci!"

The plump brunette leapt onto the dock with a suitcase as pink as her clothing, looking exactly the same as she had the last time she had been on the show. "Omigosh, I am, like, so excited to back. Thank you so, so much for a second shot on the show, Chris."

"Hey, don't thank me!" Chris said. "It was the producer's idea! I, personally, probably wouldn't have let you back on."

The chatterbox continued as if she hadn't heard this. "Yah, I'm totally going to rock this season. I've been preparing my spirit, mind, and body ever since the last time I was on. I don't like to brag, but I'm probably the strongest one here."

The other contestants were mostly looking at her with raised eyebrows, but Owen pinched the flab on his bicep and agreed, "Yeah, probably."

"And our next contestant," Chris said as Staci walked past, "she's a paparazzi panderer turned Hollywood horror movie star, it's everyone's favorite mutant monstrosity, Dakota!"

The next boat arrived slowly and was sitting low in the water, seemingly struggling to stay afloat. A ten foot-tall, orange-skinned, reptilian mutant stood on the stern, waving gleefully while bearing a toothy smile.

Several gasps were elicited from the other contestants. "You're seriously letting her back on the show?" exclaimed Duncan.

"It was the producer's idea," said Chris, with his usual bland smile. "Though I can't say I'm complaining. This is gonna be awesome!" He chuckled.

"Hi Chris! Dakota so happy to be back -" the girl started as she stepped onto the dock, but the entire right side collapsed, dropping her into the ocean and evoking a mild look of surprise from the host. She popped her head out of the water, her usually-spiky green hair plastered over her face, and coughed. "Dakota okay!" She smiled at the camera.

"Great. Then do you mind getting over there and not destroying any more of our dock?" Chris said with a frown, jamming his thumb in the direction of the others. Dakota nodded happily and swam to the far side of the planks, pulling herself up and next to her peers. She didn't notice the several cautious looks she was getting, nor the groaning of the wood beneath her feet. "Hi, guys!" she waved happily, getting a few wary waves in response from the friendlier contestants.

"Our next player," Chris said as another boat pulled up to the significantly-shortened dock, "is both a classic and beloved contestant, but is being placed on the loser team due to her poor performance in Total Drama All-Stars. One of Canada's most famous professional models, Lindsay!"

"Hi-i!" the blonde rang out, towing a pink rolling suitcase behind her. Despite being a professional model, the friendly airhead wore the same outfit she had on TDI, with a blue bandana, red top, and tall leather boots. "Omigosh, I'm so happy to be here! Have we met before?" she asked, peering at Chris. "You look _sooo_ familiar."

"Uh, yeah. I'm Chris. The host of Total Drama? I tortured you for four seasons?"

The blonde simply looked more and more confused. "You know, I've heard of Total Drama, but I'm not sure I was ever on it. I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that."

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose, but then said with his usual enthusiasm, "Well today's your lucky day, because you've been selected to star on the next season!"

Lindsay gasped, shocked. "Really? Oh yay, this is great! I've always wanted to be a TV star!" She grabbed her luggage and raced to the other end of the dock, leaving Chris to stare after her in disbelief.

"Lindsay! I'm so happy we're going to be competing with each other again!" Beth cried.

Lindsay gasped, this time in joy. "Beth! It's so good to see you again!" The two old friends embraced.

"Wow, she actually remembered you," said Gwen with a cool smile.

"Oh, and it's good to see you again too, Edmund," Lindsay said to her. Gwen's smile promptly faded.

The next boat came and went, leaving a large black man with an enormous amount of hair. "And here's Beardo!" said Chris, as the other man regarded him with a relaxed smile. While he looked the same physically, Beardo donned nicer-looking clothes than he had in his _Pahkitew_ debut, wearing a professional-looking button-up shirt and dark jeans. "Wearing some nice new digs, I see - looking professional for your new radio job, I presume?"

"Yeah, man, you know it," the hairy guy said, bumping fists with the host. "I feel like I finally can put my talents to good use."

"Beardo has gotten a radio DJ job since his time on the show, where he's gotten to use his title 'The Human Soundboard' in a literal manner," Chris said as an aside to the camera. He turned back to the taller man. "So how does it feel to be back on the show?"

Beardo shrugged good-naturedly. "I'm excited. I dealt with a lot of shyness and social awkwardness as a teenager. I feel a lot more confident and I think I can handle the game better now. And I'm ready to bring home the cheddar!" He let out a classical 'cha-ching' noise as he walked down the dock.

"And our other Pahkitew loser," said Chris, after watching Beardo go, "Leonard!"

Another black boy, this time in what appeared to be a ramshackle green wizard's costume, stepped off the newest boat. "Ah," he said, peering confidently out at the campground. "A whole new land to test my numerous powers with. If only Tammy were here to experience this with me!"

"Yeah," said Chris, frowning slightly at the camera. "Again, not my idea."

"The Malevolent Maclean." Leonard said these words with spite, narrowing his eyes. "My bitter nemesis. I will not allow another defeat as I did last time!"

"Dude. Don't you work at, like, a trading card store or something? What's with the wizard act?"

"My profession is of no concern to you," Leonard said, crossing his arms. "Simply know this, wretched host: I will prevail against the forces of darkness and obtain the fabled treasure, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

"You mean you'll win the million dollars?" Chris asked, perplexed.

"Well, yeah, if you want to make it sound boring," said the LARPer with a shrug.

"Just get over there," Chris said, and the wizard-wannabe complied. After he passed, the host regained his composure and turned to the camera. "In order to balance out the teams, this last handful of contestants weren't necessarily among the first voted out, but still had poor luck and performances during their run on the show, allowing me to give them the title of 'honorary loser.' Of course, _all_ these contestants are losers in my book!" He gave a wide, dopey grin toward the mass of players, as if expecting a laugh. Many glared but none dignified him with a response. After several seconds of silence, Chris turned back to the camera as if nothing had happened. "For the first of our final four players, here's… Tyler!"

"Yeah! Whoo! To the _ext-reeeme!_ " The shot panned to the right, to reveal Tyler being towed via waterskis by his boat, exactly as he had on his first day. This time, however, the sporto stuck the landing without incident, flinging the skis into the air and landing with a confident pose in front of Chris.

"Wa-how! Tyler! You actually stuck the landing this time!" The host clapped.

"You know it, dude! I've been practicing my sports and physical fitness ever since the last time, and I've honed my athletic skills to levels like never before!" The red jock was interrupted when the skis fell back onto his head, knocking him to the planks with a groan.

"I can tell," Chris smirked. "But then again, if that's true, why have you had such bad luck getting onto a professional sports team, like the gossip says? Rumor has it the closest job your dad has managed to get you was a salesperson at an athletic store, despite him being such a high-ranking sports announcer."

"Hey, why's that gotta be a bad thing?" Tyler jumped to his feet. "I love my job! It helps me get people as pumped about sports as I am!"

"Good to hear!" Chris smiled. "And it just happens that we've gotten our hands on some _exclusive_ footage of you at your day job." Tyler blanched.

The footage shifted to a montage of Tyler, dressed in a mock referee's uniform and inside a large store filled with sporting goods, as the jaunty whistling theme once used for the Aftermath's " _That's Gonna Leave a Mark_ " segment played in the background.

"Excuse me, sir," a woman holding the hand of a child asked in the first clip, "can you grab that ball for my son?" She pointed at a rubber ball, in a mesh cage with many others.

"No problemo, ma'am!" Tyler grabbed the rope cage, opening a gap large enough for a ball to get through, but tripped and brought the entire container crashing down, balls bouncing everywhere.

"Wuh - woah, no - waah!" Tyler stepped on the balls and struggled to keep his balance, flailing his arms and careening across the salesfloor as the mom and child watched in shock. Finally, Tyler crashed into a shelf, which created a domino effect as it fell into the next shelf, and so on. Customers screamed and ran for their lives as the entire interior of the warehouse was demolished, and then, after the dust had settled, spontaneously caught on fire.

The second clip showed a large truck labeled ' **Mick's Sporting Stuff'** backing up to a garage on the side of the store, Tyler at the wheel. Two burly men stood under the garage, gesturing for the sporto to back up, and then brake.

"Time to unload all this awesome new sports equipment!" Tyler said, jamming a button on the dashboard.

The two men frantically waved at this. "No, Tyler, wait, slowly -" But the back of the truck flung open, burying them in a mound of athletic goods.

"Whoops. My bad, guys!" said Tyler, as the pile caught fire.

The third and final clip showed a pair of hairy arms brusquely shove Tyler into a men's bathroom, looking bitter as he held a mop and bucket. "Now clean up in there and quit destroying my store!" snarled his offscreen boss.

"All right, all right, sheesh." Tyler dipped his mop into the bucket, but when lifting it, shattered a light with the broomhandle and simultaneously lit its wooden end on fire. The athlete screamed and rushed over to a sink to douse the flame, but instead succeeded in lighting the sink on fire, which within seconds had spread to the entire room, causing a still-screaming Tyler to flee.

The shot cut back to Chris and Tyler at the docks, the latter of which was looking very embarrassed. "Rumor has it the only reason you still have a job at all is because of your dad's high-ranking contacts in the sports industry," said Chris with relish. "So all this considered, I'd say you're a pretty good fit for the losers' team."

"Yeah, well, just you wait," said Tyler with his usual vigor, jamming a finger in Chris' chest. "This so-called loser is gonna win this entire competition! Whoo!" He ran over to the others, and gasped in disbelief upon seeing Sky, who looked a tad surprised at this. "Sky! _You're_ in this competition?"

"Y-yes," she said, unsure. "Tyler, right?"

"Yeah - sorry! I'm a huge fan! After starring on Total Drama and then winning gold so many times in the Olympics, you've kind of become my hero!"

"Oh. Well, then thank you!" Sky shook the eager man's hand. "I'm happy that we're competing together!"

Tyler then let out an even louder gasp, startling Sky yet again. "Lindsay! You're in this season, too?" He rushed over to the blonde, who he had just spotted. "This is awesome! Why didn't you tell me, babe?"

The model, however, looked just as unsure as Sky had. "Umm… sorry… who are you again?"

Beth elbowed her friend as Tyler looked distraught. "Lindsay! That's Tyler!… Your boyfriend?" she added, as Lindsay still looked confused.

"Oh! Tyler… Hi?" She gave him a weak, half-hearted hug, but Tyler and Beth just looked perplexed.

The camera cut back to Chris. "Our next loser performed poorly in the contest _and_ in her home life, but gets a unique chance to come back without the other half of her not-so-dynamic duo. Please welcome our tormented twin, Samey!"

"The Good Twin" walked off the boat, looking much the same, though had swapped her old high school cheer outfit for a blue tank top and pink shorts. She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath before turning to Chris. "Chris, as my sister is no longer here, I'd like to request that this season, you call me by my _actual_ name, _Sammy_."

Chris chuckled darkly. "You really want to hear my answer to that?"

Sammy crossed her arms, her furrowing brow revealing that she was getting upset but trying to remain calm. "I moved away from my family a while ago. I've gone to college, made friends, had a _life_ away from Amy. I've even applied to join the cheerleading squad of a professional sports team, a job which Amy will have _nothing_ to do with. I have my own identity now, and I'd appreciate if you'd recognize that."

Chris ruffled her hair. "Aw, Samey, you're adorable!"

Looking miffed, Sammy chose to bite back a response and instead walked to join the other contestants. Shawn and Sky exchanged a friendly wave with her, and Sky put a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Just ignore him. You know whatever Chris says is not worth taking to heart. Oh, and congrats on the application! I hope you get the job." Sammy gave her a small smile in response.

"And last and… most probably least," said Chris, "our perpetual BFF's, Katie and Sadie!"

The two gal pals were dropped off by the last boat. They looked fairly similar to their teenage selves, though had grown out their hair into longer, shoulder-length pigtails, and their clothing's pink-and-white color scheme had been swapped for more fashionable pink-and-black outfits.

"Omigosh, Sadie, can you believe we're finally getting another chance?" asked Katie. "It's been so long."

"I know, right?" the larger Oriental girl replied. "And even better, we both get to go on together!" The two girls clasped hands and squealed. " _EEEE!_ "

"Katie and Sadie have graduated from fashion school since the last season, and have since started up their own fashion boutique," Chris narrated.

"Yeah, and it's going totally well," said Sadie. "We've made thousands of dollars so far! Though, all on only one line of clothing." She sighed.

"Yeah, turns out people just wanted our old outfits that we wore on TDI, since we were best known for that show," said Katie. "So we've literally sold no other outfits besides replicas of those." More excitedly, she turned to the camera and gestured to what she was wearing. "So that's why we're wearing these to show off our new line! Come on, people, buy something else! _Please!_ "

"Okay, enough self-promotion." Chris shoved them towards the others with a frown, and then regained his composure. "Losers! You have proven yourselves to be the worst of the worst, the utter dregs of reality TV everywhere. And yet, here you are, starring again on the greatest reality TV show of all time."

"The Ridonculous Race?" asked Geoff.

"Cake Boss?" inquired Staci.

"What? No!" Chris shook his head. "Total Drama! The show that you're on right now!"

"Eh, it's okay," said Mike.

"I've seen better," Eva growled.

Chris shook his head again. "Whatever! You, thirteen newbies, I dub your team… The Loathsome Losers!"

A fart sound effect played, and a green icon bearing a thumbs down appeared in the upper right hand corner of the screen. The Losers exchanged a few uncertain glances, but did not react outside of this.

Maclean turned back toward the cameras. "It's winners versus weaklings in this special tenth anniversary season! So stay tuned, for the rest of the exciting premiere episode, of Total… Drama…

"Legends Versus Losers!"

"Yeah!" Dakota spontaneously jumped in excitement, causing the dock, her castmates, and the host to collapse into the water.

* * *

 **Wawanakwan Winners**

Alejandro - The Manipulative Charmer

Beth - The Quirky Animal Lover

Cameron - The Bookish Genius

Cody - The Tech Geek

Duncan - The Criminal

Gwen - The Horror Writer

Heather - The Schemer

Lightning - The Athletic Overachiever

Mike - The Introspective

Owen - The Overenthusiast

Shawn - The Survivalist

Sky - The Olympian

Zoey - The Only Child

 **Loathsome Losers**

Beardo - The Human Soundboard

Bridgette - The Soul Surfer

Dakota - The Mutant Fame-Mongerer

Eva - The Body Builder

Ezekiel - The Farmhand

Geoff - The Party Lover

Katie - The BFF

Leonard - The LARPer

Lindsay - The Model

Sadie - The Other BFF

Sammy - The Tormented Twin

Staci - The Chatterbox

Tyler - The Accident-Prone Athlete

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! If you read this far, please consider leaving a review.

As many of the characters are now in their mid-twenties, I thought some of them needed mild redesigns. Some of these were because their teenagery designs didn't really work for their new age group (Beth, Cody), some were for story reasons (I doubted Sammy would still be wearing her high school cheer outfit as a twenty-something), and some were just because I felt like it (Geoff, Eva). Beth's design was inspired by "Older Beth TDI Wallpaper" by Matoonz on Deviantart, while Gwen's (and to a degree Katie and Sadie's) was inspired by the Youtube vid "TDI Cast 10 Years Later" by pandaexpresslover33.

Also, I hoped you found the Jacques and Josee cameo entertaining! Chapter 2 will be coming soon.


	2. 1-2

The second chapter of Legends vs Losers is out! And it only took me…

(Glances at publication date)

…Well, here's the second chapter anyway.

* * *

"Welcome back to Wawanakwa Island!" The familiar voice of the host rang out above the sunlit pine trees. The camera panned down to show said star leading the gaggle of younger competitors across the pine-needle-ridden ground, most of which looked bored and/or apathetic. "I'm sure you all feel quite nostalgic being back here – feel free to bask in the happy memories!"

"That's funny. I don't remember ever being on this island," Shawn said jokingly to Sky, who chuckled lightly.

"Me neither!" Lindsay piped up from behind them.

"I'll give you all a quick tour," Chris continued, "before officially starting the first challenge of Legends vs. Losers! I know that most of you are familiar with this place, but hey, what can I say? Gotta pad out the runtime for the cameras."

Gwen rolled her eyes and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Typical."

"Our first stop is the outhouse confessional," said Chris, as the group arrived at said structure. "Truly a symbol of the spirit of Total Drama."

* * *

Confession Cam

 **Geoff and Bridgette**

 _Geoff_ – Woo-hoo! This is so awesome, dudes! First I get to win a million bucks with my best bud Brody, and now I get to compete for another with the most amazing woman in the world!

 _Bridgette_ – (Giggling) And I hope _I_ actually get a chance to experience some victory with you this time. Especially since I couldn't make the Ridonculous Race with my surf tour. But it _is_ kind of weird that you're being placed on the Loser's team after just winning so big.

 _Geoff_ – No worries, babe! If you're going to be a loser, then I want to be considered a loser with you.

 _Bridgette_ – Uh… Th-thanks, Geoff.

 **Owen** Yeah, baby! Back again for another round of Total Drama! On the best little island in the entire planet! Whoo! (He looks down, and then sighs.) I just wish my little buddy Noah was still here. We've still been starring on reality TV shows together, but he absolutely refused to come back on this one. He even got some legal help with it from Emma. Something about contracts signed by minors not being legally binding… or something… I don't fully understand, but all I know is that he's about to miss out on the best season of all time! I miss you, buddy!

(The next shot simply shows an empty outhouse. After a few moments, the roof lifts off and the green hair and orange face of Dakota peers in upside-down.)

 **Dakota** …Dakota not sure how to fit in here.

 **Shawn** I know I promised Jasmine that I had gotten over my whole 'fear of the undead' thing… but has anyone else realized that Ezekiel guy kind of looks like a… Z- _ZOMBIE?!_

 **Leonard** It never ceases to frustrate me how everybody on these types of shows gets all confused and judgmental about my act. It's like they think I'm a real wizard or something! Nobody appreciates a good roleplay anymore.

* * *

"And our next stop," Chris continued as he led the group towards a larger, but still-familiar building, "is the mess hall, which you'll use to eat meals, or simply hang out and socialize in your free time."

Gwen sighed again. "Great. And let me guess, we're gonna have to spend the next few months forcing down Chef's crusty excuse for food, right?"

Chris adopted a look of sudden forlornness. "Oh, you didn't hear?"

More than a few contestants were surprised by this sudden change of demeanor. "…Hear what?" Gwen pressed cautiously.

"Well, it's been so long, as you know." Chris awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "And Chef wasn't exactly the healthiest guy. Chef, ah… Chef passed away last year."

Shock or sadness spread across all the competitors' faces. "Wow," Bridgette mumbled to Geoff. I didn't like Chef much, but I didn't exactly want him to die."

"Oi! Chris!" A deep voice snapped from the nearby building. The crowd looked up to the door as Chef Hatchet, angry and hulking as ever, stepped halfway out, brandishing a butcher knife menacingly. "Are you tellin' people that I'm dead again?"

Chris doubled over in laughter, clutching his stomach. "Yeah!" he managed. "And you just ruined it! They were _totally_ buying it!"

Any concern the contestants wore quickly reverted to apathy.

"I told you to quit doin' that!" Chef snapped. "It's wiggin' me out!"

"Sh'yeah right!" The host continued to laugh. "It's hilarious!" The knife that the cook had been holding suddenly found itself embedded in the tree closest to Chris. "Yowch! Okay! Okay! No more jokes about your premature death! You got it, buddy!"

Chef mumbled darkly under his breath, and then turned to face the campers, as if noticing them for the first time.

Owen waved cheerily. "Hi, Chef! Awesome to see you again!"

Chef simply huffed and closed the door.

"About as charming as I remember him," Gwen said. In agreement, Beardo let out a downtrodden sound that was similar to that of Pacman's death.

"Yep. Gotta love the guy," Chris said cheerfully. "Anyway, on with the tour!"

* * *

The shot shifted to show Chris lead the group up to a single, ramshackle cabin. "Your living quarters will be the same cabin that you know and love, which we have done our best to keep in the pristine season one condition as to not ruin its unique flavor. We've accomplished this by not doing a single bit of upkeep work on it for the last decade." As he spoke, a small portion of the roof collapsed. "Yeah, it may not be the _safest_ place to sleep in, but whatevs!"

"Wow, eh!" Ezekiel proclaimed, pointing to something offscreen. The shot zoomed out, allowing the audience to see what the farmhand and the rest of the contestants were now looking at: an ornate, sparkling mansion, sitting where the second cabin used to reside.

"Let me guess," said Sky, as the others looked upon the building in wonder. "The winning team of each challenge gets to stay in there each time, while the losing team gets the gnarly old cabins as punishment?"

"Boo-yah!" cried Tyler. "In that case, my team's gonna be staying there every week, whoo!"

"Pssh, your sorry butt _wishes_ it could stand a chance against sha-Lightning," sha-Lightning responded.

"Sky's _kind of_ right, and _kind of_ wrong," said Chris. "Unlike our All-Stars season, our fancy-schmancy ultra-deluxe cabin can't really be won each time. Instead, it's reserved for the _all-time_ winners of Total Drama past, as in, a permanent, season-long reward for the Wawanakwan Winners team. Meanwhile, the Loathsome Losers will be stuck with this baby all season long –" he proudly patted the cabin, and then cringed as a mysterious brown goop stuck to his hand – "as a constant reminder for how much they _sucked_ in the past."

Several members of the Wawanakwan Winners couldn't help but let out cheers, as many of the Losers, predictably, groaned.

"Aw, man," Tyler murmured.

"Ha!" Lightning mocked, jamming a finger in the other athlete's face.

Chris flourished his arm at the mansion. "That's right! The winners will have constant access to state-of-the-art waterbeds, butlers waiting on them hand and foot, three square meals a day crafted by a professional cook, and a world-class spa and hot tub.

"The Losers, meanwhile, will remain in the bug infested cabin, sleep on mattresses that have honestly probably killed people before, be subject to the disaster that Chef Hatchet calls 'food,' and be forced to use…" He adopted an ominous tone. "The communal washrooms!"

The camera swung to face said washrooms, zooming in on the small building in rhythm with three, dramatic, musical beats. As this happened, a pipe on the side broke open, spewing green sewage onto the ground, and a bear chased a raccoon out of the entryway, obliterating the wooden door in the process.

Geoff shrugged good-naturedly as the rest of his team cast the structure worried looks. "Eh. Could be worse."

"Now, who wants a tour of the uber-cabin?" Chris asked.

* * *

The next scene transition brought the scene to inside the mansion itself, walking through a sparkling marble hallway as giant pillars held up the roof. Half of the contestants "oohed" and "aahed" as they admired their surroundings, as the other half (we'll let you guess who) were looking gloomier by the second.

"Perpetually running chocolate fountain?" Alejandro mused, sticking his finger in said fountain and licking the end. "Perhaps a little overindulgent, but I'm not complaining." His eyes narrowed as he saw Owen on the other end, laying on his back as he tried to get as much of the sugary stream into his mouth as possible.

"A game room with all the newest hardware and video games?" Cody cried in joy, seated in front of a large, futuristic-looking computer. "Some of these haven't even been released yet!"

"Sha-forget that!" The camera panned over to Lightning, bursting from a door while pumping dumbbells. "Have you seen their workout room? It has every piece of workout equipment Lightning knows!"

"This is the largest library I have ever seen!" Cameron cried, in the middle of a group of giant shelves, reaching high to the ceiling and with every open space crammed tight with books. The bibliophile lay on his side and pulled his knees to his chest. "So many words… information overload…"

"That's right," Chris said proudly. "We've tried to cater to each of your interests. And we've even hired a professional chef to handcook your meals." He gestured to the side, where a familiar man with a green shirt and a huge physique walked up.

"DJ?!" cried several of the contestants.

The brickhouse waved. "Hey, guys. How's it hanging?"

He was quickly swarmed by several of his friends. "Dude! It's been too long!" Geoff said as he gave an enthusiastic embrace.

"So good to see you again!" Beth said as she gave the fellow animal lover a hug of her own.

"So you're really gonna be hanging out all season?" Gwen asked with a small smile as DJ and Duncan bumped fists.

"Yeah," the brickhouse replied. "I was offered the gig, and thought it would be nice to see some of my old friends again. Sure beats having to actually be in the competition," he added with a chuckle.

"Well, I'm glad you're here," Gwen said, as she gave him a hug of her own. "Not to mention I'm much more looking forward to eating your cooking than Chef's."

"Yah, like, and on that note, why exactly are we here?" Staci asked, gesturing to the rest of the loser team.

"To further rub it in how much ya such, why do you think?" Chris playfully poked her nose, earning a glare. "But, Macy here does have a point."

"Like, it's Stac-"

"That's enough time meandering in the winner's quarters, let's finish up our tour so we can get this show on the road!"

* * *

The shot flashed to another familiar sight: a group of stumps surrounded by an array of hanging lanterns, the host leaning on an oil drum that had been set up as a podium. There were a few small alterations to the location, however – first, an extra two stumps had been set up to accommodate that larger team sizes, and second, to the left of the impromptu seats were thirteen brand new, deep black, very-comfortable-looking, leather massage chairs.

"Welcome back to the classic elimination circle, home of the dread-inducing elimination ceremonies," Chris continued. "Like the housing arrangements and meals, the Loathsome Losers will use the standard old stumps, while the Wawanakwan Winners will be rewarded with state-of-the-art massage chairs."

"Ohhhh yeahhhh," Owen murmured as he leaned back in one, before the chair collapsed from his weight.

"…Which were very expensive," Chris deadpanned.

"Is it just me, or is this season feeling a little bit classist to anyone else?" Sammy asked her teammates, to which Beardo responded with a shrug.

"I can't say I'm minding it," Alejandro said slyly.

"No pay attention, 'cuz this next rule is a little different from what you're used to," Chris continued. "But this season, it is _mandatory_ for both teams to show up at every elimination ceremony unless otherwise stated, for reasons that will soon be discovered." He chuckled a little at the others' nervous expressions. "Oh, don't worry. The winning team won't be facing any kind of punishment or anything." He adorned a thoughtful look. "Or… well, kinda. I guess it depends on how you look at it. Either way, you'll find out why at the first elimination ceremony." He checked his watch. "Well, that's a wrap on the main tour. Go unpack your bags, and I'll alert you all soon where to head for your first challenge!"

* * *

Confession Cam

 **Gwen** Yeah, it still sucks being here – but, since I _am_ back here, I might as well try to win again. After all, I've honestly had pretty good luck on this island, all things considered.

* * *

The cabin door burst open, and the girls of the Loathsome Losers peered into their side. "Oh, wow, Sadie," said Katie. "It's just like when we were here as teens!"

"Omigosh, you are so right!" Sadie agreed. "I call top bunk!" The two raced to claim their beds, as the other two shuffled in behind them.

"Ugh, this mattress is so gross," Lindsay whined as she rolled about on top of one, fighting to get comfortable.

"If you think that's bad, you should see the very first mattresses that my family ever invented," said Staci. "Specifically, they were created by my great-great-great-"

"Oh, don't start that again," growled Eva, shoving the compulsive liar onto a bad as she passed. As Staci coughed out the moldy sheets that had wound up in her mouth, Eva walked to a bed in the far corner, threw her duffel bag on top, sat on the bottom bunk, and declared, "Since there are only seven of us, I call this bed to be my own. Do any of you have a problem with that?" She flourished her fist in an unsubtle gesture.

"That's not true," said Bridgette, as she and Sammy walked in. "What about Dakota?" The mutant peered uncertainly through the doorway.

"Will she actually be able to _fit_ in here?" Eva asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Dakota can try!" The mutant got on all fours and attempted to squeeze through the entryway, causing the entire front wall to rattle and splinter ominously. Bridgette, Sammy, Katie, and Sadie quickly ran up to her and tried to shove her out.

"No no no!" cried Sadie.

"I'm sure there's another way," Bridgette added hastily.

Sammy looked anxiously back over at Eva. "Since you're not using your top bunk, Eva, could Dakota at least have the mattress? We could try to set up a place for her to sleep outside."

Eva shrugged boredly. "Sure. Fine. Whatever."

As the weightlifter began to remove the bedding and pass it through the doorway to the smiling mutant, Bridgette smiled at Sammy. "Good thinking."

"Thanks," said the shorter blonde in her usual shaky voice. "Uh, since it doesn't look like there's any other open pots, would you be okay sharing bunks?"

"Of course," said Bridgette. "Do you prefer top or bottom?"

* * *

The shot flashed over to the boy's side of the cabin, as the five male Losers burst through the door. "All right!" Geoff proclaimed. "We've got four bunk beds, and two of us are gonna have to share. Any takers?"

"I don't mind!" said Tyler, and he and Geoff exchanged a fist bump.

"Awesome, man! I call bottom!" The two energetic boys rushed to the bunk. Leonard and Ezekiel smiled at the prospects of getting their own beds, while Beardo shrugged good-naturedly, and the three began to unpack.

"Hey, eh," said Ezekiel to Leonard, who had chosen the next closest bed. "I was thinkin' maybe you and me would want to make an alliance, eh? We both got a nasty track record of being voted off early, and it seems summa the other guys who got far did so by settin' up alliances."

The wannabe wizard scoffed. "Do you truly believe one as skilled as I would want to align myself with one as unlucky as you? Negative energy flows from your very being! You are the last person I would attempt to partner with on this quest. At least _those_ two have made it somewhat far in the past," he said, pointing at Geoff and Tyler, who were currently chortling at a joke that Geoff had just told, "but as far as I'm concerned, it would be tempting the fates to ally with losers like you two!" He pointed one thumb at a saddened Ezekiel, and a second at Beardo across the room, who looked surprised to have suddenly been brought into the conversation.

"Um, excuse me?" the hairy boy asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I'll have you know that my last vote-out was a fluke. I used to be very shy, and made the mistake of thinking my sound effects could be a good stand-in for social skills. I was wrong and paid the price, but you'll see that I'm going to be playing much differently this time. Besides, I recall you barely performing better than me – I would have expected more camaraderie."

Leonard waved dismissively. "Enough of this prattle! Regardless of what you may think of my, I intend to win this year, and that entails aligning myself with only the most worthy of competitors!" He went back to unpacking, leaving the farmhand and the beatboxer to exchange puzzled glances.

"Well ya know, eh," Ezekiel told the larger man, "I'd be down to have an alliance with you too, if you want."

"Uh, thanks for the offer, but I'm gonna have to turn it down." A knock on the door distracted them, and Beardo pulled it open to reveal Bridgette.

"Hey, do you think we could have your extra mattresses?" she asked. "We're trying to set up a bed that's, uh, Dakota-sized." Dakota waved cheerfully from behind her.

* * *

Confession Cam

 **Beardo** I hope my turning down of Zeke's offer wasn't too rude. But while I feel for the guy, I gotta admit Leonard's right – bad luck follows that dude wherever he goes.

* * *

The static ended with a distant shot of the Loser cabin, revealing Geoff, Tyler, and Bridgette helping push together mattresses to form a large bed for Dakota, as the mutant in question watched gleefully from nearby. The shot then panned over to the left, revealing the Winner's mansion, and zoomed into a window, transitioning to a shot of an ornate room filled with glamorous looking beds. "Ah, I missed these things," Duncan crowed as he leapt onto the nearest. "Sure beats sleeping in those crappy cabins again."

"And yet, despite all the luxurious accommodations, we still have to share bedrooms," Alejandro murmured, as he and the rest of the male Winners shuffled in.

"Aw, don't feel bad, gorgeous," Duncan mocked with a lecherous grin. "You can always share a bed with me if it'll make you feel better."

"I can see that prison has left you even more charming than before."

"Hey, no reason to get upset, guys," said Owen. "This'll be fun! It's just like a big sleepover!"

Duncan snorted. "Yeah, if you like sleeping with guys."

"I _love_ sleeping with guys!" Owen agreed. The others fell silent, and he shrugged. "Hey, I'm bi. We all knew, I just stopped being afraid to admit it."

After a few seconds, Mike, Cameron, and Cody began light claps of affirmation. Duncan scratched his arm awkwardly. "Uh, well, congrats on coming out, man."

Lightning looked confused at this, and narrowed his eyes at Owen. "Hey, what are you all cheering chubby kid for? I'm bi, and you ain't congratulating me! I'm _way_ more bi than he'll ever be! And I'm tri, too!"

The others stared at Lightning in befuddlement. Cody leaned over to Mike and whispered, "Does, uh, he even know what we're talking about?"

Mike chuckled awkwardly. "Honestly, probably not."

* * *

Confession Cam

 **Lightning** How can all those fools think chubby kid's more bi than the Lightning? I mean, just look at these! (He flexes for the camera.) These biceps are way better than that wannabe's will ever be! And check out my triceps, too! (He gives the muscle a smooch.) Oh yeah, you like the Lightning, don't 'cha?

 **Cody** I'll try my best to be cool around the others, but honestly, the whole rooming situation is a little uncomfortable. I've never gotten along well with Alejandro or Duncan, and Lightning seems like a really hostile guy, too. And Owen's cool, but he's… not the most hygienic. (He shrugs.) At least Cameron and Mike seem all right!

* * *

Shawn poked at his waterbed reluctantly. "Are you going to be staying in the room this time, amigo, or sleeping outside again?" Alejandro inquired.

"Uh, I thought I'd try a proper bed this time," Shawn replied, though did so half-heartedly. "I'm not particularly worried about a zombie invasion this time around."

* * *

Confession Cam

 **Shawn** While that was the truth, I still much prefer sleeping in a tree or under the night sky. I just find it way more relaxing than trying to share a tight, stuffy space with a bunch of people I hardly know, half of which are probably plotting the best way to backstab and use me to get the prize money! (He sighs.) But, Jasmine made me promise to try to be more social and get to know the others better this time around, so I'm gonna do it for her.

* * *

Gwen opened the door to the women's room, which was a mirror image of the men's, only to be hip-checked out of the way as Heather stepped in first. The goth grunted. "Urgh! Seriously? You're already starting things, Heather?"

The black-haired schemer dropped her bags on the bed nearest to the window, and eyed her old rival with disdain. "You know the drill, weird goth girl. Just stay out of my way, and you won't end up regretting anything later."

Having obviously been expecting a retort, Heather widened her eyes as Gwen grabbed her stomach and doubled over in laughter. "Seriously? You're still calling me weird goth girl? This isn't high school anymore, Heather."

"Y-yeah? So?"

" _So_ , the difference is, _I'm_ actually popular now, and have tons of fans who love my work. _You_ , on the other hand, are seen as nothing more than the epitome of a Karen."

"Woah! Guys!" Beth stepped in between them before things could further escalate. "We just got here! Do you really want to start fighting already?" She looked pointedly at both of them. "Whatever happened between us was a _long_ time ago. We don't need to worry about the past anymore! We can all start fresh!"

Heather remained glaring for a moment, but then sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just irritated about having to come back to this place – but I shouldn't be taking it out on you. To starting fresh?"

She held out a hand to the goth, who eyed it suspiciously for a moment before accepting. "To starting fresh."

* * *

Confession Cam

 **Gwen** (Smiling slyly at the camera) Yeah… If she thinks I'm gonna believe that nice girl act, then Heather's fallen further than I thought.

 **Heather** Ha! Too easy. She bought my nice girl act immediately. Soon that loser goth and all of the other simps here will be eating out of my hand. I can play these morons like a marimba.

* * *

"Good teamwork, guys," said Sky, observing the handshake. "We have some of the strongest players on our side. If we're just able to cooperate, then those Losers won't stand a chance." She frowned slightly. "Man. I was just saying their team name, but that sounded harsh."

"Well I for one am appreciating the team spirit," said Zoey. She turned to Beth and whispered, "Nice going, cooling things down."

"Thanks," the farm girl whispered back with a smile. "I just hope it can last."

The girls perked up as the voice of their least favorite host blared over the camp's loudspeakers. "Attention, campers! Meet in front of the mess hall in ten minutes for your first challenge! And you may want to bring your swimsuits – you will get wet on this ride!" He chuckled, and the speakers cut out.

"What do you think we're gonna have to do?" Zoey wondered aloud.

Beth smiled. "Hopefully nothing too bad. It's our first day back, so it shouldn't be too harsh, right?"

The camera abruptly cut to all twenty-six contestants, all standing outside in their bathing suits, and all looking nervous.

With a dramatic musical beat, the camera cut to a father view, revealing that they were near a cliff face.

One more beat and they were revealed to be nothing more than small specks atop Wawanakwa's 1,000 foot high cliff. "Seriously? This isn't very original," rang Gwen's distant voice.

"Don't ruin the dramatic moment!" Chris whined.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait. The wait for the next chapter should be MUCH shorter.

Just to help understand the setting more, the canon winners in my timeline are:

Island – Owen

Action – Beth

World Tour – Heather

Revenge – Cameron

All-Stars – Zoey

Pahkitew – Shawn

Ridonculous Race – Geoff and Brody

Until next time!


End file.
